This Was the Species that Was

I was complaining to Lord Fomo last night, as we both sat in L'Enfant Plaza waiting for a green line train homeward, that this system is the TALKIEST motherfucking system I've ever seen. New York, Chicago, San Francisco—any city with subways, light rail, buses, whatever, they mostly SHUT THE FUCK UP instead of telling you, by voice and by writing, every little detail of what's going on (elevator fucking outages, single-tracking due to track maintenance—stuff that's going to affect 1 percent of the ridership and could be piped into only those stations where it matters)... plus the constant barrage of 'BE ON YOUR GUARD THE TERRORISTS ARE ALL AROUND YOU YOUR BEST FRIEND COULD BE ONE REPORT HIM TO METRO POLICE NOW!!!!!' OMFG fucking Metro FAIL we hates them we hates them we hates them