This Was the Species that Was

Here is what Pepsi helped sponsor on the March 8th, 2009 episode of Family Guy In one scene of the March 8 Family Guy episode on FOX network, husband Peter lies in bed, his naked rear exposed. A horse enters and licks Peter’s rear, as Peter moans in pleasure. 'Mmm, what made you come around, Lois (his wife)? I love you so much. I love you so much, Lois,' Peter groans. In the program, Peter warns his family that 'some of the milk in the fridge is not milk, it's horse sperm,' whereupon Baby Stewie eats cereal covered with the 'milk'; Peter’s gay lover greets him with news that he has arranged a gay 'eleven-way' orgy; and Peter helps his son Chris with math homework: 'One trick I used to use is turning things into a word problem. For example, if there are three glory holes in the bathroom at the club and 28 guys at the circuit party, how many rotations of guys will it take before everybody's had a turn? Nine, with a remainder of Brent... Brent can't fit in the glory hole, and that's why we all like Brent.'

I think the giggliest thing here (if not the giggity-giggitiest) is AFA's use of the word 'baby' to make Stewie out to be an innocent infant, as if he didn't gargle with horse sperm every morning. And of course they preface the whole thing with blinking red 'WARNING: EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE' tags; but I have to wonder how many AFA members, upon reading this boycott notice, immediately shoved they hands down they pants, thinking about what they'd do for Brent, in the bathroom at the church club.

I have to say, the Rude Pundit has occasionally disappointed me in the run-up to and first mostamonth of Mr. Obama's presidency. At the risk of sounding like the vile racist I unquestionably am, I see no reason not to call a spade a spade (where spade = any political creature rich enough in real and rhetorical capital to get elected CEO of USA Inc.). I've been running the 'never trust the government' message ragged since I first bought that Screaming Man T-shirt in Delaware, what? Twenty years ago? (Help me out, old-timers.) And I frankly saw and see no reason to mitigate that message just because the latest Great Liberal Hope Machine has taken the White House.

Case in point: what the blistering FUCK does it matter that you shut Gitmo down if you're allowing rendition to continue unabated? We'll just put those evil terrorists in little Gitmoids the world over, is what you're saying? So, given the question, 'If these prisoners are so obviously, unquestionably terrorists, why can't you make a court case against them?' you really have nothing to say weighing in, huh? You just want to look like you're changing Bushian policy, so boom goes Gitmo? But all the torture suspects just go to places we can't see and don't know about in other countries? Great, great. Carry on!

Anyway, back to the Rude Pundit: he may have sipped ever so slightly at the Obama Kool-Aid, but he's still just dreamy at what he does best. Viz: yesterday's column:

Here's perhaps the greatest couple of sentences ever written by a conservative: "Liberals are long known for light sentences for child molesters, opposition to child rape and child porn laws, and the speedy expediting of 'freedom of speech' protections to pornographers, pedophiles, and male homosexuals who belong to the group NAMBLA. Slightly less well known but easily documented are the sympathies the left has towards lowering the age of consent laws so that it's not really a crime for adults and children to have sex." [Kevin] McCullough does not provide that easy documentation, and the Rude Pundit's 14 year-old male assistant was too "busy" to look it up.

Also, I am tempted to rename my main LJ page, 'The vacuous, demi-coherent masturbatory fantasies of a particularly adept howler monkey'.