This Was the Species that Was

Endemic, Adj.
1 a: belonging or native to a particular people or country b: characteristic of or prevalent in a particular field, area, or environment < problems endemic to translation> < the self-indulgence endemic in the film industry>
2: restricted or peculiar to a locality or region < endemic diseases> < an endemic species>

I looked this up when I ran across a Wikipedia sentence that said something like 'The only species of waterfowl endemic to Scotland is...' Since then I've been listening and have noted that many people use this term to mean 'inherent': 'These problems are endemic to our group', says this Cheese Lord or that on a regular basis.

It's not a great transgression, given the examples Merriam-Webster lists above for 2b—the latter of which already veers slightly south of their given definition!—but speaking of self-indulgence, it's a skosh presumptuous, for example, to hold that administrative paralysis is endemic to one's own group, as if no other group is so bedeviled. 'These are problems endemic to self-governed groups' is truer to the original meaning of the word.

I sense meaning in flux. Let me peruse the literature.

I just want to lament, at maximum decibels, that, earlier this week, the Washington Post Excress crossword contained a clue, for a 5-letter word beginning with C, that read, 'Is able to, to Shakespeare'. Working the puzzle further confirmed that they meant 'canst'.

Ahem.

THAT'S WRONG. IT'S WRONG. YOU'RE MOTHERFUCKING WRONG.

'Canst' is a second-person form: 'My poet, thou canst touch on all the notes...' (E. B. Browning). The clue should have 'Are able to, to Shakespeare'; or, to shorten and simplify, 'Art able to'.

Villains. Dullards. Skalawags.

"24/7/365" is redundant. Stop fucking saying it.

All kidding and all politics aside, the most compelling argument for the removal of U.S. military troops from Iraq—indeed, for the permanent disbanding of the U.S. military as a whole—and frankly they can all stay in fucking Iraq for all I care—is the staggering, in-your-face, nine-inch-nails-on-a-chalkboard stupidity that prevails there. Sure the front lines end up populated mostly by kids most unfit for any sort of formal education (typically performing badly in class from grade school up); but what is less commonly known is that at every level of military command and administration the important once are chosen not for their smarts but for the facility with which they can make shit up on the fly to pretend they're smart. That's why the knee-deep bullshit jargon. That's why "to include:" is used even in past tense. That's why every document in the "List of Applicable Documents" in the Request for Information I'm reading right now has the annotation "(current version or later)" next to it.

Support our troops! They need our support! They're too stupid to get out of the way of a suicide bomber!

(The author of this blog would like to point out to anyone who should happen across this entry who has a relative or friend fighting in Iraq, that he really doesn't wish them ill. After all, they are only following the Fourth Reich's orders and fighting for my right to marry, have joint power of attorney with my partner, visit him in hospital, successfully bequeath my property to him, etc.; to not get beaten up, fired, kicked out of my housing, or kept from joining whatever association for being queer; also for my right to be religion-free; for my overall right to privacy without illegal molestation from the feral gubmt; and to ensure all the country's kids are taught according to indisputable scientific facts and principles.)














































(Oh. Wait.)

Re the use of "aw" to replace the sound, as in "hot" and "rocks" and "hot rocks": KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF. They are not the same sound, and "hawt rawks" sounds like you're a stupid American trying to pronounce the French for "high russet." The first part is probably accurate, at least.

What may be even worse, you might have decided that it no longer matters what it sounds like, since your pathetic little existence is spent typing into your computer. And you've seen others before you type "That rawks!" and so you do it yourself. But as a wise woman said to me on any number of occasions, "If you saw somebody else put a lump of shit on their nose and let it fall into their mouth, would you do it too?"

AMENDED: I'm sorry, did I make this sound like it was negotiable? It is not. Blow me.