The "Growed Up" Survey
May. 1st, 2007 01:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fr_defenestrato(Meant to be completed by those out of high school)
1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Whichever one charges the most interest. Oh, yeah, that would be RENT.
2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
No sech thing. I thought I had one once at Montserrat on South Street in Philly, and they served me old fish and I ended up in screaming pain with food poisoning all night long. The guy—Chip deCraene, late of Lakeville, NJ—was pretty much precisely the same as the old fish, but it took somwwhat longer for the pain to manifest. That's what it's all about.
The closest thing would have to be dinner that I make for somebody or dinner that somebody makes for me. Restaurants are nice and all, but really, half the "romance" about them is the clever lighting and tasteful wall hangings and tin ceiling and cheery, rustic woodwork; and the other half is the size of the check. Fuck that noise.
3. Last time you puked from drinking?
Not sure. Probably 1998, but there may be a more recent incident I don't recall... for me to be puking over alcohol I pretty much have to have blacked out a while back and kept at it on autopilot.
4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on bar?
Bar? Mrs. Bush? That would be 1991 or so. "A bar"? Never.
You have issues.
5. Name of your first grade teacher?
Miss Garland. Preceded by Mrs. Morganweck, succeeded by Mrs. O'Neal, Mres. Scarpa, Mr. Stokes, Mrs. Delbane, Mr. Stokes and Mrs. Kavalauskas, Mrs. Greenberg and Ms. Ciancaglini, Mrs. Scarpa and Mrs. Little.
6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
This. Otherways I wouldnae be.
7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
Franz Joseph Haydn. The job, alas, had been taken for some time.
8. How many colleges did you attend?
Two.
9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
Because I decided about a month ago when I did all my laundry at once that I would triage my shirt choices in order to toss or donate those that I really don't wear. So since then I've been wearing NO duplicates, just whittling the remaining rack of shirts smaller and smaller. The deep purple shirt I'm wearing today is among the last, I think, that will survive. I like it a lot, but it goes with only a couple pairs of pants. There are a few tactically salvaged survivors left (e.g., the best white shirt I have, which I never wear to work, but one needs to own a white shirt).
Yes, this answer was the reason I decided to fill in this meme.
10. Gas prices?
Yes, gas has prices.
11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you?
Maestro y Fabian, a Nuevo Orleans. If I can only take one person, fuck it, I'm not going. Unless I can take whomever in the world I want, in which case Peter Sarsgaard, please. (Sorry, Maggie.)
12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Ha! The alarm did NOT go off this morning. I crashed hard before 11 p.m. and woke up just as hard at 3:40 a.m. I thus forestalled both alarms.
14. What errand/chore do you despise?
Scooping the catbox.
15. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
Certainly, at a library.
16. Get up early or sleep in?
This morning notwithstanding, sleep in please.
17. What is your favorite cartoon character?
First of all, asshole, my favorite cartoon character is not a 'what'; he's a 'who'. Daffy Duck, with a possible close runner-up in Deimos.
18. Favorite thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
Toss it in the trebuchet and aim for the White House. Oh, wait, I thought you said 'with a cask of TNT,' sorry.
19. Have you found real love yet?
Inasmuch as whatever the most affection person x feels for whom or whatever is, by definition, person x's 'love', yes.
20. When did you first start feeling old?
Ask again later.
21. Favorite 80's movie?
Uh... The Hunger? A Passage to India?
22. What do you get every time you go into Sam's Club (costco)?
You presumptuous yuppie fuck, what makes you think...
Ok, cat litter.
23. Beach or lake?
Neither if I can help it: but 'beach' had better entail boardwalk, 'lake' had better be pristine and fishable, and either had better boast at least one 20-something lifeguard with light blond arm hair against skin that's tanned ocher, or else a brother with cornrows and 4 lbs of demonstrably uncut cock in 1.25 ounces of Speedo.
24. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
'Ritual'? Yes. Custom? Certainly not, in the sense of long-term coupling. But the strictures placed on it by the 'I know the mind of god' crowd are fucked beyond belief, as is the crowd.
25. Favorite guilty pleasure?
Food: pork
TV: the amount of it I watch in entire seasons on DVD
Drink: the last three drinks of any drunk
Around the house: Yahoo spades
26. What's your drink?
Alcohol.
Alternately, milk, naked or with Ovaltine.
27. Cowboys or Indians?
Construction workers and cops, thank you very much.
28. Cops or Robbers?
See above. Until robbers get better uniforms, definitely cops.
29. Who from high school would you like to run into?
Oh, crikey. Those whom I loved unrequitedly: Bill Galinas, Kurt Tandan, Pepe Reyes, David Killian, Carl Palmer, Mark Santora, kinda sorta Fran Vuotto... Those who made me go BOINGGGGGG: Anthony Branca, Carmen Giamporcaro, Sal Giorno, Pat Onofrio, Steve Fondacaro, Packy Vilare, Steve Reniere, Michael Bertman, Leo Petetti, Jimmy Austin, Bob Putney, Eddie Malec, Paul Massey, Pat Andriana (12th grade English teacher).
30. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
No car, so there. And the radio in my house is prolly tuned to WETA, even though it's prolly been a couple years since I turned the radio on.
31. The Cosby Show or the Simpson’s?
The Simpsons. Who the fuck ARE you? Why not just say, '"The Simpsons" or "The Donna Reed Show"?' or 'The Simpsons or an hour in the iron maiden?'?
32. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
I guess that would have to be a 2-hour-long repetition of "Go fuck yourself."
33. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
There is no such person. We don't all work in Cubeville. That said, I like the person who sits in the nearest office from me. He's my boss and he's a naturalized Turk named Ugur. With a silent 'g'.
34. If you could get away with it, who would you kill?
Have you not been paying attention? George W. Bush and Dick Cheney.
35. What famous person(s) would you like to have dinner with?
Harold Bloom, King Saul, King David, Jesus called the Christ, and the Pope. Now, "have dinner off of" would again be Peter Sarsgaard.
36. What famous person would you like to sleep with?
I sense a theme. For variety's sake, of course I'd do Brad Pitt if he showered first. I'd also do Mark Ruffalo in a heartbeat. And Will Smith. And prolly J.P. Pitoc, though he was looking scruffy and psychotic in the last role I saw him in. The list could go on as long as I cared to think 'em up.
37. Do you have a teddy bear?
I have a stuffed koala that I'm fond of but seldom fondle-y of.
38. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
San Diego, or maybe Francis Coppola's vineyard.
39. Do you go to church?
Not just no, Fuck no.
40. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
Relationship, I guess, but honestly? Neither, please. I'd rather start a new book.
1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Whichever one charges the most interest. Oh, yeah, that would be RENT.
2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
No sech thing. I thought I had one once at Montserrat on South Street in Philly, and they served me old fish and I ended up in screaming pain with food poisoning all night long. The guy—Chip deCraene, late of Lakeville, NJ—was pretty much precisely the same as the old fish, but it took somwwhat longer for the pain to manifest. That's what it's all about.
The closest thing would have to be dinner that I make for somebody or dinner that somebody makes for me. Restaurants are nice and all, but really, half the "romance" about them is the clever lighting and tasteful wall hangings and tin ceiling and cheery, rustic woodwork; and the other half is the size of the check. Fuck that noise.
3. Last time you puked from drinking?
Not sure. Probably 1998, but there may be a more recent incident I don't recall... for me to be puking over alcohol I pretty much have to have blacked out a while back and kept at it on autopilot.
4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on bar?
Bar? Mrs. Bush? That would be 1991 or so. "A bar"? Never.
You have issues.
5. Name of your first grade teacher?
Miss Garland. Preceded by Mrs. Morganweck, succeeded by Mrs. O'Neal, Mres. Scarpa, Mr. Stokes, Mrs. Delbane, Mr. Stokes and Mrs. Kavalauskas, Mrs. Greenberg and Ms. Ciancaglini, Mrs. Scarpa and Mrs. Little.
6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
This. Otherways I wouldnae be.
7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
Franz Joseph Haydn. The job, alas, had been taken for some time.
8. How many colleges did you attend?
Two.
9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
Because I decided about a month ago when I did all my laundry at once that I would triage my shirt choices in order to toss or donate those that I really don't wear. So since then I've been wearing NO duplicates, just whittling the remaining rack of shirts smaller and smaller. The deep purple shirt I'm wearing today is among the last, I think, that will survive. I like it a lot, but it goes with only a couple pairs of pants. There are a few tactically salvaged survivors left (e.g., the best white shirt I have, which I never wear to work, but one needs to own a white shirt).
Yes, this answer was the reason I decided to fill in this meme.
10. Gas prices?
Yes, gas has prices.
11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you?
Maestro y Fabian, a Nuevo Orleans. If I can only take one person, fuck it, I'm not going. Unless I can take whomever in the world I want, in which case Peter Sarsgaard, please. (Sorry, Maggie.)
12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Ha! The alarm did NOT go off this morning. I crashed hard before 11 p.m. and woke up just as hard at 3:40 a.m. I thus forestalled both alarms.
14. What errand/chore do you despise?
Scooping the catbox.
15. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
Certainly, at a library.
16. Get up early or sleep in?
This morning notwithstanding, sleep in please.
17. What is your favorite cartoon character?
First of all, asshole, my favorite cartoon character is not a 'what'; he's a 'who'. Daffy Duck, with a possible close runner-up in Deimos.
18. Favorite thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
Toss it in the trebuchet and aim for the White House. Oh, wait, I thought you said 'with a cask of TNT,' sorry.
19. Have you found real love yet?
Inasmuch as whatever the most affection person x feels for whom or whatever is, by definition, person x's 'love', yes.
20. When did you first start feeling old?
Ask again later.
21. Favorite 80's movie?
Uh... The Hunger? A Passage to India?
22. What do you get every time you go into Sam's Club (costco)?
You presumptuous yuppie fuck, what makes you think...
Ok, cat litter.
23. Beach or lake?
Neither if I can help it: but 'beach' had better entail boardwalk, 'lake' had better be pristine and fishable, and either had better boast at least one 20-something lifeguard with light blond arm hair against skin that's tanned ocher, or else a brother with cornrows and 4 lbs of demonstrably uncut cock in 1.25 ounces of Speedo.
24. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
'Ritual'? Yes. Custom? Certainly not, in the sense of long-term coupling. But the strictures placed on it by the 'I know the mind of god' crowd are fucked beyond belief, as is the crowd.
25. Favorite guilty pleasure?
Food: pork
TV: the amount of it I watch in entire seasons on DVD
Drink: the last three drinks of any drunk
Around the house: Yahoo spades
26. What's your drink?
Alcohol.
Alternately, milk, naked or with Ovaltine.
27. Cowboys or Indians?
Construction workers and cops, thank you very much.
28. Cops or Robbers?
See above. Until robbers get better uniforms, definitely cops.
29. Who from high school would you like to run into?
Oh, crikey. Those whom I loved unrequitedly: Bill Galinas, Kurt Tandan, Pepe Reyes, David Killian, Carl Palmer, Mark Santora, kinda sorta Fran Vuotto... Those who made me go BOINGGGGGG: Anthony Branca, Carmen Giamporcaro, Sal Giorno, Pat Onofrio, Steve Fondacaro, Packy Vilare, Steve Reniere, Michael Bertman, Leo Petetti, Jimmy Austin, Bob Putney, Eddie Malec, Paul Massey, Pat Andriana (12th grade English teacher).
30. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
No car, so there. And the radio in my house is prolly tuned to WETA, even though it's prolly been a couple years since I turned the radio on.
31. The Cosby Show or the Simpson’s?
The Simpsons. Who the fuck ARE you? Why not just say, '"The Simpsons" or "The Donna Reed Show"?' or 'The Simpsons or an hour in the iron maiden?'?
32. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
I guess that would have to be a 2-hour-long repetition of "Go fuck yourself."
33. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
There is no such person. We don't all work in Cubeville. That said, I like the person who sits in the nearest office from me. He's my boss and he's a naturalized Turk named Ugur. With a silent 'g'.
34. If you could get away with it, who would you kill?
Have you not been paying attention? George W. Bush and Dick Cheney.
35. What famous person(s) would you like to have dinner with?
Harold Bloom, King Saul, King David, Jesus called the Christ, and the Pope. Now, "have dinner off of" would again be Peter Sarsgaard.
36. What famous person would you like to sleep with?
I sense a theme. For variety's sake, of course I'd do Brad Pitt if he showered first. I'd also do Mark Ruffalo in a heartbeat. And Will Smith. And prolly J.P. Pitoc, though he was looking scruffy and psychotic in the last role I saw him in. The list could go on as long as I cared to think 'em up.
37. Do you have a teddy bear?
I have a stuffed koala that I'm fond of but seldom fondle-y of.
38. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
San Diego, or maybe Francis Coppola's vineyard.
39. Do you go to church?
Not just no, Fuck no.
40. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
Relationship, I guess, but honestly? Neither, please. I'd rather start a new book.
