My Journal of a Thousand Dental Woes

This isn't exactly current, like in the last week, but maestro_live just reminded me—because he had a dental appt. this morning— that I hate frigging dentists for reasons wholly unrelated to most people's fear and loathing.

Case in point: My dentist's office sent me a bill for a balance due on the replacement of an old filling. Mind you, my dental insurance is pretty standard, common carrier, fairly understandable if you read the booklet. My plan has four categories (as is typical) and different percentages of coverage/co-pay and/or deductibles on each category. So when I got that filling redone, the desk folk told me the amount of my co-pay percentage, I paid it, and that was that. Then they filed a claim for the balance with the insurance company, which paid—as is also typical—a discounted amount of the bill. And then the fucking dentist's office tried to bill me for the rest.

When the insurance company sent me a 'we paid out' statement, it explicitly said on the bottom, 'You should only pay $xx.xx for these services'—and that amount was less than I had already paid on my initial visit.

Now it may be perfectly legal for them to charge me the standard percent co-pay based on the full fee; but I'll be damned if they're going to come back and tell me 'The insurance company didn't pay your full claim so you owe it.' In fact, I'm not sure it's legal to charge me a percentage of one amount and then settle on a discounted amount for insurance purposes (hence the disparity between the amount I paid and the amount on the ins. co.'s ltr.).

I called the dentist's office and got voicemail. I left a message recounting all of the above, and said that their billing me more than my allowable co-pay was quite obviously fraudulent and they had just better remove that charge and clean up their billing practices if they wanted to stay out of court.

I think I need to find a new dentist now.

[Ok, that's not exactly a thousand woes... I do still have various damage to my front teeth thanks to the frequent slippage of the wobbly hands of 225-year-old, perpetually drunk Dr. Ingemi (whom eloquentwthrage dubbed 'Dr. Injure Me') on Bellevue Avenue in Hammonton, New Jersey. And as of my last filling by Dr. Fraud my molars don't sit the same way they used to. And my two crowns are going to need replaced soon (they's been there maybe 25 years). Only 996 to go.]

Sonnet de la semaine, ouvré particulièrement pour EWR

This is a belated sonnet for Bob, who complained a while back that the verses in one of my sonnets had too many syllables—some of which excess (I explained to him) was perfectly legal, caused by rhyming words with extra, non-accented syllables after the one that rhymed. Well, then, I thought this morning—and especially having recently been reminded of the very excellent word callipygian by jaegerbeast—why not go whole hog?

One day when every tune on my playlist was Phrygian,
In Donner Park I scanned free weeklies for some jollity:
A circus in the mist? No hope for such frivolity—
In fact, the culture scene was positively Stygian—
When o'er my shoulder peeked a strapping, callipygian
Young man in dapper duds, orating re the quality
Of "Classified" masseurs: one known for his assholity,
One for the sneaky ways he rubbed in his religion.
"I may not advertise," I fast assured this papegai,
"But I'll despatch your aches (and similar annoyances)
And charge you not a cent, despite that your flamboyance is
Sufficient to derail a train, much less to stop a guy."
Alack! of character I am no judge; clairvoyance is
My weakest attribute: I never thought he'd pop a guy!

"(current version or later)"

All kidding and all politics aside, the most compelling argument for the removal of U.S. military troops from Iraq—indeed, for the permanent disbanding of the U.S. military as a whole—and frankly they can all stay in fucking Iraq for all I care—is the staggering, in-your-face, nine-inch-nails-on-a-chalkboard stupidity that prevails there. Sure the front lines end up populated mostly by kids most unfit for any sort of formal education (typically performing badly in class from grade school up); but what is less commonly known is that at every level of military command and administration the important once are chosen not for their smarts but for the facility with which they can make shit up on the fly to pretend they're smart. That's why the knee-deep bullshit jargon. That's why "to include:" is used even in past tense. That's why every document in the "List of Applicable Documents" in the Request for Information I'm reading right now has the annotation "(current version or later)" next to it.

Support our troops! They need our support! They're too stupid to get out of the way of a suicide bomber!

(The author of this blog would like to point out to anyone who should happen across this entry who has a relative or friend fighting in Iraq, that he really doesn't wish them ill. After all, they are only following the Fourth Reich's orders and fighting for my right to marry, have joint power of attorney with my partner, visit him in hospital, successfully bequeath my property to him, etc.; to not get beaten up, fired, kicked out of my housing, or kept from joining whatever association for being queer; also for my right to be religion-free; for my overall right to privacy without illegal molestation from the feral gubmt; and to ensure all the country's kids are taught according to indisputable scientific facts and principles.)














































(Oh. Wait.)