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Question month: Answers!
Mar. 22nd, 2009 12:12 amI promised to respond in verse. So:
Q: How does one gain an audience with Thee? How can one bask in Thy greatness?
A:
Admittance to Oz's great throne
Was a cinch as compared with my own:
But my guard at the gate
Can be made to deflate
If you throw him the right kind of bone.
Go to, sirrah. Our greatness, indeed! Heehee. We are duly flattered.
If you're visiting D.C., just holla and we shall summon you for dinner or sechlike.
Q: How do you introduce yourself to someone you meet for the first time?
A:
In social situations, I will smile
and shake the person's hand (a solid grip
to demonstrate my grunting manhood) while
his/her name, stealthy, serpentine, will slip
and slither from my brain into the void.
Each meeting is a panic, just contained:
though life is such that one cannot avoid
these things, I'd rather everyone refrained
and forged new friendships medias in res!
But as regards self-presentation, I
bestill my tongue, forgoing to supply
my vitals, save when one elects to press
for them. The formula is static: 'Hi,
I'm Gordon.' 'Jordan?' 'Gordon.' 'Gordon?' 'Yes.'
Q: Ha ha! Just to be a jerk, I'll ask you another question: how do you stand yourself, being so smart, talented and good-looking?
A:
Oh, ask me a hard one.
Answer: I don't.
Follow-up Q: You have to answer in verse. Or in the form of a question, Alex.
A:
Well! I beg your pard one.
Answer I won't!
Q: Will you Love me? Will you love me forever? Do you need me? Will you never leave me? Will you make me so happy or the rest of my life? Will you take me away? Will you make me your wife? I gotta know right now. Before we go any further. Will you love me? Will you love me forever?
A: [Full disclosure: edited since first posted]
I didn't know you cared! One ersatz girl,
At call, awake, comin' up! Didn't we
Agree the name of Gordon Geise (that's me),
While lovely, doesn't have the mad'ning twirl
Or attitude of 'Dummy Lovelit Anally'?
[The above verse is a precise anagram of:
I couldn't take it any longer; Lord, I was crazed,
And when the feeling came upon me like a tidal wave
I started swearing to my god and on my mother's grave
That I would love you till the end of time.
Check it if you don't believe me.]
Q: How does one gain an audience with Thee? How can one bask in Thy greatness?
A:
Admittance to Oz's great throne
Was a cinch as compared with my own:
But my guard at the gate
Can be made to deflate
If you throw him the right kind of bone.
Go to, sirrah. Our greatness, indeed! Heehee. We are duly flattered.
If you're visiting D.C., just holla and we shall summon you for dinner or sechlike.
Q: How do you introduce yourself to someone you meet for the first time?
A:
In social situations, I will smile
and shake the person's hand (a solid grip
to demonstrate my grunting manhood) while
his/her name, stealthy, serpentine, will slip
and slither from my brain into the void.
Each meeting is a panic, just contained:
though life is such that one cannot avoid
these things, I'd rather everyone refrained
and forged new friendships medias in res!
But as regards self-presentation, I
bestill my tongue, forgoing to supply
my vitals, save when one elects to press
for them. The formula is static: 'Hi,
I'm Gordon.' 'Jordan?' 'Gordon.' 'Gordon?' 'Yes.'
Q: Ha ha! Just to be a jerk, I'll ask you another question: how do you stand yourself, being so smart, talented and good-looking?
A:
Oh, ask me a hard one.
Answer: I don't.
Follow-up Q: You have to answer in verse. Or in the form of a question, Alex.
A:
Well! I beg your pard one.
Answer I won't!
Q: Will you Love me? Will you love me forever? Do you need me? Will you never leave me? Will you make me so happy or the rest of my life? Will you take me away? Will you make me your wife? I gotta know right now. Before we go any further. Will you love me? Will you love me forever?
A: [Full disclosure: edited since first posted]
I didn't know you cared! One ersatz girl,
At call, awake, comin' up! Didn't we
Agree the name of Gordon Geise (that's me),
While lovely, doesn't have the mad'ning twirl
Or attitude of 'Dummy Lovelit Anally'?
[The above verse is a precise anagram of:
I couldn't take it any longer; Lord, I was crazed,
And when the feeling came upon me like a tidal wave
I started swearing to my god and on my mother's grave
That I would love you till the end of time.
Check it if you don't believe me.]
