Sonnet from the Porch de Stupid Celebrity Crushes

The good news is, I'm totally over B.D. Wong.

Dear Abraham Benrubi: Please be mine
as friend, companion, lover: let me be
your wee confrère; likewise as ever thine
I'll troth my most remoran loyalty.
I'll hump as barback to your gentle Ben
and Jerry's backup on the ER desk;
as you lend voice to friends of Cyber-Hen,
I'll snigger with delight. The rough burlesque
of Olaf, god of trolls, infantophage,
will hammer humor, salving every stress;
and as we tend our hemp in our old age,
I'll tender tender love with more souplesse
than E. Suplee supplied! My lovely lad'll
be never, in my arms, without a paddle.