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So the wonderfully named (and assed) ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bobalouche just posted a bit of TMI: "It kind of sucks when the person whom you very much like, and are having "intimacy" with, isn't really your type, so your little buddy shows less than the interest that would be deemed appropriate.
"I need someone who rocks my world.."
Which of course got me going, because I've been in precisely that situation more times than I care to recall. And ya know, this is absolutely at the crux of my discomfort with the whole way we are socialized. I'm frankly wondering if I'm not the product of an alien or possibly angelic impregnation, because I can't for the life of me understand how we as a society have come to expect and accept, almost to a person, that there is only one way to couple, and that way involves an active sex life from now through the rest of one's life, or rather two's lives.
My last (and in a sense only) truly serious relationship ended because my partner couldn't tolerate being less than wholly physically desired, despite the fact that we had already built a terrific and functional household together. As it turns out, his leaving broke up our cohabitation but not much else; while he has had a new boyfriend for almost 4 years now, he and I are the closest of friends, confidants, and travel companions. We're discussing re-co-habitating (three of us). (There's nothing sexual going on trois-wise, BTW.)
So this whole "partner-must-be-sex-partner" paradigm, which many if not most people find unalterable at like the subatomic level, goes hand in hand with our socialization about monogamy, fidelity, and jealousy. If the most of us weren't so disinclined to accept the concept of unfettered (or even chaperoned) access to sex with whomever, it seems to me we'd be more willing to entertain forming a primary bond (the nesting kind) with someone whom we loved intensely but not necessarily sexually.
For these reasons I've begun to reject popular entertainments that behave as if (a) no couples ever discuss the possibility of extramarital liaisons, and (b) there is only one normal way to react to infidelity and that is with hatred and seething vengeance. (E.g., the entire first season of "Deperate Housewives" which was fun but pretty much ensured I wouldn't be watching the second season.) I find it truly bizarre that anyone can feel like their entire beings have been betrayed and laid waste by a "trusted partner" "cheating" on them.
IMHO, YMMV, etc.
Fuck "porn_rage" too.
bobalouche just posted a bit of TMI: "It kind of sucks when the person whom you very much like, and are having "intimacy" with, isn't really your type, so your little buddy shows less than the interest that would be deemed appropriate. "I need someone who rocks my world.."
Which of course got me going, because I've been in precisely that situation more times than I care to recall. And ya know, this is absolutely at the crux of my discomfort with the whole way we are socialized. I'm frankly wondering if I'm not the product of an alien or possibly angelic impregnation, because I can't for the life of me understand how we as a society have come to expect and accept, almost to a person, that there is only one way to couple, and that way involves an active sex life from now through the rest of one's life, or rather two's lives.
My last (and in a sense only) truly serious relationship ended because my partner couldn't tolerate being less than wholly physically desired, despite the fact that we had already built a terrific and functional household together. As it turns out, his leaving broke up our cohabitation but not much else; while he has had a new boyfriend for almost 4 years now, he and I are the closest of friends, confidants, and travel companions. We're discussing re-co-habitating (three of us). (There's nothing sexual going on trois-wise, BTW.)
So this whole "partner-must-be-sex-partner" paradigm, which many if not most people find unalterable at like the subatomic level, goes hand in hand with our socialization about monogamy, fidelity, and jealousy. If the most of us weren't so disinclined to accept the concept of unfettered (or even chaperoned) access to sex with whomever, it seems to me we'd be more willing to entertain forming a primary bond (the nesting kind) with someone whom we loved intensely but not necessarily sexually.
For these reasons I've begun to reject popular entertainments that behave as if (a) no couples ever discuss the possibility of extramarital liaisons, and (b) there is only one normal way to react to infidelity and that is with hatred and seething vengeance. (E.g., the entire first season of "Deperate Housewives" which was fun but pretty much ensured I wouldn't be watching the second season.) I find it truly bizarre that anyone can feel like their entire beings have been betrayed and laid waste by a "trusted partner" "cheating" on them.
IMHO, YMMV, etc.
Fuck "porn_rage" too.
