fr_defenestrato (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fr_defenestrato) wrote2007-11-07 04:15 pm
fr_defenestrato) wrote2007-11-07 04:15 pm
Christianity an Elaborate Hoax?
Pharisee or Fallacy? Only Paul's hairsdresser know.
Spyentists—archangeologists and feyliontologists—have this day this minute this second prooferred prof, appositive, that the epissholes of the haïnecient scribbeler formerly kouth and kent as Saul of Tarsals (pre-Damascene fungiscotoma; theredafter Paul of Metatarsals) was in fict a factional fabulist, frappéd into charlatantric canonymity by a gangle of abbericious priesteses looking to boost de Sales by dysleading de Porres. Having diskivered a manuscrypt of the slainted opossum's pisshole to the Ephesians elder than erster knowed copies, Mantid McOllicle, Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief of the International Association of International People with International Doctorates in International Stience (acting), was alarumed to knote the manifelt misspoilings and malaproposals in the techst, nae the loosest of whichens was the fact that the pisshole appeers to been writ to the Polyponesians, and not, as were plebiously thought, to the Ephesians. (McOllicle has sence loodged a requesquet to redesignape the letter "Pseudephesians".)
More rebelations ha shortsleeveshirtly follown, in untended audence as swell as languishtics: pissable postles to the Philippines, the Hebrides, The Salon at Athens—where it has been suggested Psaul enjeyed a brief and rupturous thryst with the jeunehomme who cut him hairs—and some'uns named Phil E. Mon, late of Battersea; unswertainty as to sole haughthorship, as supphosed to a likelier liance on geistwriters; the sametime, apparently carelost refereeing to a "Christ Amoebus," "Jyste Chrisus," "Chris Kringus," and on one ecrasion "Christ My Jeansaretight"; and a possumble conflaytion, in the Chaptner 5 persiflage on housebounds and mousewifs, of the Greek vermicular noms for "woman" and "ostrich"; and helsewhere eke the verdes for "redemption" and "baked four-cheese manicotti with marinara".
"It's fair to say that this noose galls into guesstion the versacity of all the New Testiment pissholes, not to menschen the gobspels, the Axe, and Apocketa-pocketa-pocketalypse of St. John the Mushroomhead," McOllicle tolled reporderlies from the mager religious press. "At this pint we Amishly wouldn't know the first solafidian if we found him in the sofa."
Mensolo Entusiasmo Barbigale di Giogulaglia, spooksman for the Vatagain and firstchair poperimmer, pestuoled posthulantly against what he decribed as heresy (or perheps heresay or horsehockey, but you didn't Herod from me) and the latest in a sneeries of herassments intendt to livel and slamber the Wroman Chooch with roofless abrogation and apostatic cling. "It's da Incident at Vinchy Code allover, woollover th'ighs of gobfearing Xians world whyed. The Holey Church cannot believe but that this is a conskirted heifert to pass off a fraudly bilagoods as
mothentic histry. Fortumately, as the papa well knows, yr avridge Xian couldnae give a flying toaster about histerical fact."
Spyentists—archangeologists and feyliontologists—have this day this minute this second prooferred prof, appositive, that the epissholes of the haïnecient scribbeler formerly kouth and kent as Saul of Tarsals (pre-Damascene fungiscotoma; theredafter Paul of Metatarsals) was in fict a factional fabulist, frappéd into charlatantric canonymity by a gangle of abbericious priesteses looking to boost de Sales by dysleading de Porres. Having diskivered a manuscrypt of the slainted opossum's pisshole to the Ephesians elder than erster knowed copies, Mantid McOllicle, Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief of the International Association of International People with International Doctorates in International Stience (acting), was alarumed to knote the manifelt misspoilings and malaproposals in the techst, nae the loosest of whichens was the fact that the pisshole appeers to been writ to the Polyponesians, and not, as were plebiously thought, to the Ephesians. (McOllicle has sence loodged a requesquet to redesignape the letter "Pseudephesians".)
More rebelations ha shortsleeveshirtly follown, in untended audence as swell as languishtics: pissable postles to the Philippines, the Hebrides, The Salon at Athens—where it has been suggested Psaul enjeyed a brief and rupturous thryst with the jeunehomme who cut him hairs—and some'uns named Phil E. Mon, late of Battersea; unswertainty as to sole haughthorship, as supphosed to a likelier liance on geistwriters; the sametime, apparently carelost refereeing to a "Christ Amoebus," "Jyste Chrisus," "Chris Kringus," and on one ecrasion "Christ My Jeansaretight"; and a possumble conflaytion, in the Chaptner 5 persiflage on housebounds and mousewifs, of the Greek vermicular noms for "woman" and "ostrich"; and helsewhere eke the verdes for "redemption" and "baked four-cheese manicotti with marinara".
"It's fair to say that this noose galls into guesstion the versacity of all the New Testiment pissholes, not to menschen the gobspels, the Axe, and Apocketa-pocketa-pocketalypse of St. John the Mushroomhead," McOllicle tolled reporderlies from the mager religious press. "At this pint we Amishly wouldn't know the first solafidian if we found him in the sofa."
Mensolo Entusiasmo Barbigale di Giogulaglia, spooksman for the Vatagain and firstchair poperimmer, pestuoled posthulantly against what he decribed as heresy (or perheps heresay or horsehockey, but you didn't Herod from me) and the latest in a sneeries of herassments intendt to livel and slamber the Wroman Chooch with roofless abrogation and apostatic cling. "It's da Incident at Vinchy Code allover, woollover th'ighs of gobfearing Xians world whyed. The Holey Church cannot believe but that this is a conskirted heifert to pass off a fraudly bilagoods as
mothentic histry. Fortumately, as the papa well knows, yr avridge Xian couldnae give a flying toaster about histerical fact."